It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures of the nativity set. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get Him, my fine friend?"
The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."
"And why did you take him?"
The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it."

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !

I remember my dad was shopping in a toy store. He said, "That's a terrific train set. I'll buy it."
The Clerk said, "Great, I'm sure your son will love it."
Dad said, "Maybe you're right. I'll take two."

Q: Which of Santa's reindeer's needs to mind his manners the most?
A: Rude-olph.

Q: What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
A: Comet.

Q: Where do Santa's reindeer's like to stop for lunch?
A: Deery Queen.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite

Q: If you're afraid of Santa Claus, what condition do you have?
A: Claustrophobia

It was coming up to Christmas and the Judge was in a jolly frame of mind.
"Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?"
" I was caught doing my Christmas shopping very early." replied the man in the dock.
"That doesn't seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by 'very early?
"Well, your Honour." said the defendant, "It was before the shop was open."

It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said "Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

"No" he replied, "They're all dead".

Santa was very upset. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right!

Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree.
Santa was furious. "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours and all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree!"

He continued, "And I sent that stupid Little Angel out hours ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree behind him. He said, "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?"

And thus the tradition of angels atop the Christmas tree got its start...

A reindeer walked into a pub, strolled up to the bar and ordered a pint of lager.
Completely unphased, the barman poured out the lager and passed it to the reindeer, who handed over a ten pound note.
As he handed over the change of a few coins, the barman said "I have to say, you're first reindeer I've seen in here."
The reindeer studied the change very carefully and said. "Tell you what sunshine, as these prices I'm also the last reindeer you're going to see in here."